• This Week’s Events


    DEC 10

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    · Event · by SoccerMastery
    1:32 AM – 11:32 PM

    DEC 10
    Strategies For Effective Leadership
    · Event · by CVL
    9 AM – 4 PM
    Centre for Values in Leadership
    6 Alhaji Balarabe Musa Crescent, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 10
    Interior Design and Decoration Training Promo
    Dec 10 at 8 AM – Dec 11 at 4:30 AM
    House 32b, Road 2, Ikota Villa Estate, Lekki-Ajah Expressway, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 10
    Efficiency Factory
    · Event · by Efficiency Factory
    7:15 PM – 7:45 PM
    Metro FM, Radio Nigeria, Ikoyi, Lagos

    DEC 10
    Free live Health Awareness and Basic Medical/Health Webinar
    · Event · by Royal Hands Healthcare
    8 PM – 8:30 PM
    Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 10
    Yuletide Events
    · Event · by Gracemark Media and Events
    8 AM – 8 PM
    Gracemark Media and Events
    25 Iwaya Road, Onike, Yaba, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 11
    D-joe fashion disegns of African senetor wear
    Event · by Fashion designer
    10:50 AM – 10:50 PM
    PEP Nigeria
    Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 11
    Stress Management Training
    Event · by Toscon
    11 AM – 2 PM
    Suru Lere, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 11
    Festival of Talents with Joan
    Event · by Impact Connect and 3 others
    11 AM – 2 PM
    Festac Lagos,Nigeria.

    DEC 11
    Learn Website Design With WordPress In Three Days
    · Event · by Huntsville Technology Limited
    10 AM – 5 PM
    Huntsville Technology Limited
    4 Ayanboye Street, Anthony Village, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 11
    Real Estate Marketing and Networking
    · Event · by Bionet Homes Ltd
    10 AM – 1 PM
    Bionet Homes Ltd
    KM 108 Lekki-Epe Express way, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 11
    Digital Marketing, Content Writing, Photoshop and Video Editing
    · Event · by Studenthubtv
    10 AM – 2 PM
    7, Elegbeleye Street, Ikosi ketu, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 12
    Microsoft Excel: Foundation – NGN 7,500
    Event · by nigerianbulletin.com
    9 AM – 1 PM
    Iweanya Ogbogoh Cres, Eti-Osa, Nigeria.

    DEC 12
    Concours Epelle-Moi
    · Event · by ANEDD
    2:15 PM – 5:15 PM UTC

    DEC 12
    Event · by Secodi FreeSolar ForAll
    Dec 12 at 9 AM – Dec 14 at 5 PM
    Lagos State.

    DEC 12
    Mid-Week Service
    · Event · by Ikoyi Baptist Church
    6 PM – 8 PM
    Ikoyi Baptist Church
    5/7 Lateef Jakande Avenue, Off Bourdilon, Ikoyi, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 13
    Study, Work and Live in Australia
    · Event · by Aussie Gold Travels
    11 AM – 12:30 PM
    Suite 302 Ikeja Plaza, 81 Mobolaji Bank Anthony way, Lagos.

    DEC 13
    Human Rights, Sexuality and The Law Symposium
    Event · by The Initiative for Equal Rights-TIERs
    10 AM – 2 PM
    Hôtel ibis Lagos Ikeja | 23 Toyin Street | Ikeja | Nigeria.

    DEC 13
    Lagos AFRO-LATIN Nights
    · Event · by Mr Buddy Salsa
    7 PM – 11 PM
    Bottles Mexican Restaurant 8 imam Agusto close off olosa in Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria

    DEC 13
    Digital Marketing Foundation – NGN 7,500
    Event · by nigerianbulletin.com
    9 AM – 1 PM
    Iweanya Ogbogoh Cres, Eti-Osa, Nigeria.

    DEC 13
    Building A Digital-First Business
    Event · by Recall For Men
    9 AM – 5 PM
    Landmark Event Center
    Plot 2&3, Water Corporation Road, Victoria Island Annex, Eti-Osa, Oniru, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 13
    Lagos BookMobile Tour
    Event · by IRead Network
    8:29 AM – 4:30 PM
    Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 13
    Entrepreneurs Forum
    · Event · by Enduring Wealth & Wellness
    10:30 AM – 1 PM
    Helpgate Foundation 71, Itire road Surulere lagos.

    DEC 13
    19Kickers Fitness
    · Event · by Charrys Organic Stores
    7 AM – 11 AM
    Behind Airtel Office, Agric Bus stop Ikorodu.

    DEC 13
    Live Band by the Poolside
    · Event · by Blowfish Lagos
    7 PM – 12 AM
    The Blowfish Hotel
    17 Oju Olobun Street off Bishop Oluwole Street, Victoria Island., Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 13
    Soirée JP-Chenet
    · Event · by Winner Club Bar
    10:06 PM – 1:06 AM
    Winner Club Bar
    Sur la route de Ouidah, 4éme Vons apres le PK14 en quittant Cotonou, 00229, Abomey-Calavi

    DEC 13
    Laff Cafe
    · Event · by Heights Hotels
    8 PM – 11 PM
    Heights Hotels
    11, Samuel Manuwa Street, Via Ozumba Mbadiwe Avenue, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Manna For Life Foundation Community Feeding Outreach
    · Event · by Manna for Life Foundation of the Nation
    5 PM – 8 PM
    Lagos State

    DEC 14
    Karaoké Gourmand 3.0
    Event · by Le jardin de CanelYa, Bénin
    7 PM – 12 AM
    Le jardin de CanelYa, Bénin
    Fidjrossè. Juste après le supermarché du pont/Samsung (vers Fin Pavé), en direction de la plage : prendre la 1ère à droite puis la 1ère à gauche. 150m (Rue 2121), BP 361, Cotonou, Benin.

    DEC 14
    The TGIF Jam: The Hangout
    Event · by The TGIF Show
    6 PM – 11 PM
    Sidewalk Restaurant and Bar VI
    No 23 Sanusi Fafunwa Street, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Made in Nigeria, Lagos
    Event · by Simplypoetryng
    7 PM – 9 PM
    AGIP Hall, MUSON Centre Onikan, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    African Dance Academy Awards Festival
    Event · by Infinity Productions
    Dec 14 at 7 AM – Dec 16 at 12 AM
    16, Waziri Ibrahim, Off Adeola Odeku, Victoria Island, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    The WaterGun Party
    Event · by AlleventsNg
    Dec 14 at 5 PM – Dec 15 at 5 AM
    Walgreen Hotel, Lekki
    1 oba olusesi way after chevron roundabout lekki, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Orange Friday One Day Shopping Festival
    Event · by Ibomstore
    12 AM – 12 PM
    11 IBOKO St Off Abak Road, Uyo,

    DEC 14
    The Unofficial Christmas Party, The best corporate end of year event night!
    Event · by The Unofficial Christmas Party
    6 PM – 2 AM
    Landmark Event Center
    Plot 2&3, Water Corporation Road, Victoria Island Annex, Eti-Osa, Oniru, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Seraph Youths Mega Praise Concert
    Event · by Seraph Youths Mega Praise Concert
    Dec 14 at 8 PM – Dec 15 at 6 AM
    National Stadium, Lagos.

    DEC 14
    Festival Of Lemon Party
    Event · by ADRON homes and property – alfred
    12 AM – 11:59 PM

    DEC 14
    EKOYA Business FORUM Cotonou 2018
    · Event · by Ekoya Africa and Ekoya Business Forum
    9 AM – 4 PM
    Cotonou, Benin

    DEC 14
    The TGIF Jam: The Hangout
    Event · by The TGIF Show
    6 PM – 11 PM
    Sidewalk Restaurant and Bar VI
    No 23 Sanusi Fafunwa Street, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Click by RadikalHub
    Event · by Radikal Hub
    2 PM – 5 PM
    24 Ekololu St
    Surulere, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Register for Python Signals, The biggest transfer of wealth
    Event · by Infinity Productions
    12 PM – 5 PM
    Oriental Hotel, 3 Lekki Road, Lagos,Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    Friday Night at the Cascade
    · Event · by Radisson Blu Hotel Lagos Ikeja
    7 PM – 11 PM
    Radisson Blu Hotel Lagos Ikeja
    38/40 Isaac John Street, Ikeja GRA, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    EMBA Global A/C Lagos Evening Event · by The EMBA-Global Alumni Club, Inc.
    7 PM – 10 PM
    The Metaphor 78A Younis Bashorun Street Victoria Island Lagos,Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    · Event · by IBIS LAGOS IKEJA
    6 PM – 10 PM
    23 Toyin street ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria.

    DEC 14
    HDE come back
    · Event · by New Moon Hotel Event Center and
    PrintHatch Printing Press
    8 PM – 4 AM
    New Moon Hotel Event Center
    23, Coker Road, Beside Air Force Base, Shasha, Lagos.

    DEC 14
    ALTE Evenings
    · Event · by Alte Evenings
    Dec 14 at 7 PM – Dec 15 at 6 AM
    Bite Billionaire Lounge
    21, Adeniyi Jones Avenue, Oba Akran, Ikeja.

  • Are Emotions Bad For Your Heart


  • Former US President George H.W Bush Dies At 94


  • 30 Comparisons That Will Turn Your World Upside Down




  • Anxiety Why A Small Aount could improve your memory


    For people with an anxiety disorder, everyday tasks can seem impossible. In its worst form, anxiety can cause trouble sleeping, heart palpitations, or the inability to leave the house.

    But in smaller amounts, the kind of everyday anxiety we all feel from time to time can be used in positive ways. For example, we can learn to channel it and use it as a tool to aid our performance at work or in our personal lives.

    According to new research, a small amount of anxiety could also help us remember things better.

    In the new study, published in the journal Brain Sciences, researchers from the University of Waterloo recruited 80 students, who were assessed using the Depression Anxiety Stress Scales. They were randomly assigned into two groups: a deep encoding group and a shallow encoding group.

    In memory research, shallow processing refers to the sounds and structure of language, whereas deep processing is when we hear a word and work out its meaning. This deep processing, called semantic processing, is how our brain connects words we just heard to other words with similar meanings, which makes us remember them better.

    The participants were shown 72 words overlayed on pictures that were either negative or neutral — a car crash vs an orange boat, for example.

    Those in the shallow encoding group were asked to look for the letter “a,” whereas those in the deep encoding group were asked whether the word represented a living or non-living object.

    The results showed that manageable levels of anxiety aided participants’ memory, and they were better able to recall details. In the shallow encoding group, where participants were not as likely to remember words as well, those with high anxiety remembered words better when they were paired with negative images.

    “To some degree, there is an optimal level of anxiety that is going to benefit your memory,” said Myra Fernandes, professor in the Department of Psychology, and coauthor of the study. “But we know from other research that high levels of anxiety can cause people to reach a tipping point, which impacts their memories and performance.”

    In other words, if anxiety is too high, or it turns into fear, this can lead to people’s memories becoming tainted, and the benefit is no longer there.

    One limitation of the study that the authors note is that people may perceive images differently. There were a variety of pictures deemed as “negative,” but what one person sees as a potential threat may not be the same for another person.

    Future studies, they say, could look at how people with specific phobias react to words overlayed on images of the things they are scared of. For example, seeing if arachnophobes remember words better when they are placed over images of spiders.

  • Stress Management


    Stress Management

    Stress Management Tips

    People can learn to manage stress and lead happier, healthier lives. Here are some tips to help you keep stress at bay.

    • Keep a positive attitude.
    • Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
    • Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
    • Learn and practice relaxation techniques; try meditationyoga, or tai-chi for stress management.
    • Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.
    • Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
    • Learn to manage your time more effectively.
    • Set limits appropriately and learn to say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.
    • Make time for hobbies, interests, and relaxation.
    • Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
    • Don’t rely on alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to reduce stress.
    • Seek out social support. Spend enough time with those you enjoy.
    • Seek treatment with a psychologist or other mental health professional trained in stress management or biofeedback techniques to learn healthy ways of dealing with the stress in your life.
  • Anger Management


    Anger Management

    A businessman sits in front of a keyboard, making a fist with one hand and squeezing a stress ball in the other.Anger management refers to a process. It can help people identify stressors. People learn steps to help them stay calm in anger management. They may then handle tense situations in a constructive, positive way.

    The purpose of anger management is to help a person decrease anger. It reduces the emotionaland physical arousal that anger can cause. It is generally impossible to avoid all people and settings that incite anger. But a person may learn to control reactions and respond in a socially appropriate manner. The support of a mental health professional may be helpful in this process.


    Many different events can make someone angry. These may include:

    • Internal events such as perceived failures, injustices, or frustrations
    • External events such as loss of property or privileges, teasing, or humiliation

    Anger may result in externalizing behaviors. These can include verbal arguments and tantrums. Anger can also cause internalizing behaviors. Internalizing behaviors can include sulking or increased symptoms of depression. People may show anger through aggression. Aggression is the biological function of anger. It is an evolutionary response that helps prepare people to fight off threats.Inappropriate displays of anger may mean a more serious mental health or emotional issue exists. People who receive anger management therapy learn skills to slow their reaction to anger. This can help them identify the reason for their feelings. The roots of anger may be buried in emotional traumaaddictiongrief, or other issues. But a natural inclination may be to find temporary relief in lashing out. This can obscure the true cause of the anger. If this is the case for you, working with a therapist might be helpful.


    Anger management dates back thousands of years in human history. Prominent figures in the history of anger management include:

    • Roman philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 B.C.-65 A.D.)
    • Greek physician and philosopher Aelius Galenus (129-216)
    • Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)

    These figures highlighted the importance of adjusting one’s perspective of events. They also supported avoiding situations which could incite rage.

    In modern times, trained psychologists have developed programs for people with anger issues. These programs help people better control their emotions. Some of anger management’s major modern-day contributors include:

    • Peter Stearns
    • Raymond Novaco
    • Howard Kassinove
    • Raymond Chip Tafrate
    • Louis Dundin
    • Brad Bushman
    • Michael Hoyt


    Anger management therapy provides a clear set of recovery guidelines. It gives the person in treatment a controlled platform for the release of their emotions. At the same time, it aims to achieve constructive responses, rather than destructive ones. People in therapy are encouraged to examine what triggers their anger. They try to become aware of their emotions at each level of arousal. People learn how to use those signs as a map to control their anger.

    In therapy, people gain insight into how their body responds to past and future events. They do this by identifying the emotional reaction to a certain circumstance. Therapists also help people notice anger responses that may be defense mechanisms for other concerns. These concerns might be depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues.

    Anger management therapy often helps people with anger issues. It may also help the people who make up their social network. Uncontrollable anger may lead to harmful psychological and physical conditions. Anger management helps to reduce and control anger. This allows people to reduce stress. It can also lower the risk for serious health problems. These can include heart disease and high blood pressure.

    The goal of anger management therapy is to teach people how to examine their triggers. It also helps people adjust how they look at situations. Successful anger management therapy develops healthy ways for people to express anger and frustration. Some techniques used in anger management therapy include:

    Anger management therapy may take place in one-on-one or group settings. Classes address specific types of anger issues. These can include relationship issues, parenting, teens, and work-related anger or rage. Sometimes people are court-ordered to attend an anger management class. This can be a result of a domestic or legal issue.

    Therapy is available on a continuing basis. People interested in anger management may also take a retreat or online course. Most anger management classes include homework assignments and exercises. These strengthen the techniques learned in therapy. They also allow the person in therapy to practice their new skills in real-life situations.


    The judicial system may mandate some people to complete an anger management course. These people are typically convicted of criminal offenses. Offenses may include, but are not limited to:

    Many court-approved agencies offer anger management programs. People convicted may also take court-approved anger management classes online.


    Anger management courses are beneficial for people in the fields of business or health care. They also benefit people who are court-referred. Anger management may benefit anyone seeking to improve their relationships with others. But this treatment may be particularly helpful for certain social groups. These include:


    Anger management therapy may not be effective with people who do not recognize they have anger issues. People with severe learning disabilities may have some difficulty responding to anger treatments. These treatments are sometimes based on principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). People with other mental health issues may need to address these underlying problems first. Doing so may make future anger management more effective.

  • Psychology and Mental Health Aspects of Fear


    Fear is an unpleasant emotion that occurs in response to an immediate and identifiable threat, usually of an external nature. It includes physiological elements such as increased heart rate and muscular tension, behaviors such as running or hiding, and hormonal changes such as the release of epinephrine. Fear is adaptive, preparing individuals for immediate danger.

    Type of psychology: Emotion; motivation
    Fear is an unpleasant emotion that occurs in response to an immediate and identifiable threat, usually of an external nature. It includes physiological elements such as increased heart rate and muscular tension, behaviors such as running or hiding, and hormonal changes such as the release of epinephrine. Fear is adaptive, preparing individuals for immediate danger.

    All emotions have three components, behavioral, autonomic, and hormonal, which are synchronized during the emotional experience. For fear, the behavioral component consists of visible reactions of the face and body. A person’s immediate facial response to a threatening stimulus involves a widening of the eyes and either the stretching of the lips horizontally or the actual opening of the mouth. Pupils dilate, and nostrils flare. With intense threats, the muscles tremble. Breathing rate increases, the skin pales, and sweating occurs. Frightened individuals usually throw their arms up and flinch away from the fearful stimulus. The hair often stands up on their bodies, particularly on the arms and head, in a process called piloerection. Urination or defecation may occur. Frightened individuals often emit inarticulate cries that seem almost reflexive. Depending on the closeness of the threatening stimulus and how long the experience lasts, these reactions may be followed by hiding, fleeing, or, if individuals find themselves trapped, fighting in desperate and uncontrolled panic. In rare cases, individuals can die while experiencing intense fear, usually because of cardiac arrhythmias. The fear response, in general, is often called the fight-or-flight response. Fear Fear CLASSIC ANALYTIC THEMES AND ISSUES;Fear ENDOCRINE SYSTEM;Fear PERSONALITY;Fear PSYCHODYNAMIC AND NEOANALYTIC MODELS;Fear

    Charles Darwin argued in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872) that the physical expression of fear and the other emotions in humans was innate and had evolved from the way earlier animal species demonstrated similar emotions. As evidence, he argued that the facial expressions for various emotions were nearly identical in humans from all cultures and that similar physical responses and facial expressions occurred in most mammalian species. Later research has supported Darwin’s hypothesis, suggesting that the behavioral expression of emotions is largely inherited. This does not mean that innate emotional tendencies cannot be modified through experience and practice. Most people recognize the behaviors associated with emotions such as fear, and many can fake them to a greater or lesser extent.
    Many of the behavioral effects of fear, such as sweating and piloerection, are controlled by activation of the autonomic nervous system, which contains the sympathetic and parasympathetic branches, and is part of the peripheral nervous system. The autonomic system also produces internal reactions to fear. Heart rate and blood pressure increase. Blood flow increases to the muscles, while simultaneously decreasing to internal organs such as the stomach and intestines. The saliva glands reduce their output, and the mouth becomes dry. At the same time, stress hormones are released in the body. These include epinephrine, often called adrenaline, and cortisol, a type of natural steroid. Epinephrine increases glucose metabolism to make energy available to the body’s cells and increases blood flow to the muscles. Cortisol promotes energy availability, increases blood flow, and increases alertness. It promotes blood clotting and healing should an injury occur.
    Learned Fears
    Fear is an innate response of most complex nervous systems and was considered by John B. Watson, the founder of behaviorism, to be one of the three basic emotions, along with rage and love. Innately, fear is first activated in an organism by exposure to painful stimuli or such experiences as loud noises or heights. However, fear can be associated with specific objects or situations through learning. Watson and Rosalie Rayner, Rosalie Rayner, Watson’s graduate assistant, illustrated this in a 1920 study known as the Little Albert study. The researchers exposed an eleven-month-old infant known as Little Albert study Albert B. to a white rat and a loud noise simultaneously. Albert quickly developed a fear of the rat, which illustrates classical conditioning. It is often said that Albert developed a phobia of white rats. Certainly, Albert developed a conditioned emotional reaction (CER), a learned emotional response to an object or situation. Phobias are believed to be examples of CERs.
    Interestingly, conditioned fears develop more easily to some stimuli than to others. For example, fear of spiders and snakes is much more common than fear of automobiles or guns, even though deaths from guns and automobile accidents are more frequent in the modern world than deaths from spider or snake bites. Many researchers believe this is evidence of an evolutionary preparedness in learned fears. Cars and guns did not exist during the early evolution of the human species, but human ancestors had much to fear from snakes and other animals and from such experiences as falling from a high place or being caught in the open. The common dangers facing early humankind may have shaped humans genetically so that the species is more prone to some fears than others.
    Neural Integration of Emotional Components
    The primary brain structure for controlling and integrating the three components of emotion is the Amygdala amygdala, an almond-shaped collection (nucleus) of neurons in the brain’s limbic system. The amygdala contains a dozen subregions and is often called the amygdaloid complex. It is involved in both processing emotions and learning about emotional situations, especially for fear and anger. Several amygdaloid areas process fear. For example, the physical brain changes that accompany classically conditioned CERs appear to occur in the amygdala’s lateral nucleus. However, the primary amygdaloid structure involved in fear is the central nucleus, which gets direct input from the lateral nucleus and is particularly responsive to aversive stimuli. Stimulation of the central nucleus in animals with drugs or electrical current triggers all three components of the fight-or-flight response. Creating a lesion in the central nucleus in animals abolishes learned fear responses; the animal becomes calmer when handled and shows lower levels of stress-related hormones. Isolation of the central nucleus by severing its inputs produces the same effects. The central nucleus directs fear responses by activating brain structures that manage heart rate, blood pressure, hormone release, and other emotional reactions.
    Studies of the human amygdala generally report similar results to those seen in animals. Stimulation of the human amygdala in patients undergoing evaluation for brain surgery causes the emotion of fear. Lesions of the amygdala, as can occur with injuries or when damaged tissue is removed, make it harder for people to acquire CERs, and they are less likely to remember strongly emotional events. Studies have shown that activity increases in the amygdala when people perceive negative events, such as seeing a film about an automobile accident, or even while hearing threatening words such as slaughter or mutilate . Amygdala damage impairs people’s ability to recognize facial expressions of fear and to recognize “scary” music, even while recognition of happy or sad music is unaffected.
    Feeling and Cognition in Emotion
    In experiencing emotions such as fear, more occurs than just physical responses of the body and hormonal system. There are subjective feelings and thought processes (cognitions) accompanying the emotion. The relationship between the physical responses, the feelings, and the cognitions has posed problems for psychologists because subjective phenomena are difficult to measure in humans and almost impossible to study in animals. One early theory that tried to explain the relationship between the physical and feeling aspects was the James-Lange theory James-Lange theory. William James and Carl Lange, Carl Lange, two psychologists working independently in the late 1800s, each concluded that the physical responses of emotions, such as the increased heart rate and dry mouth of fear, occur immediately after perception of a stimulus, and these physical responses cause the subjective feeling. Research generally supports the James-Lange theory for fear. Patients with spinal cord injuries that prevent brain recognition of the body’s autonomic response to a fearful (or angry) stimulus often report less intense emotional feelings. Also, merely simulating the facial expressions of emotions activates elements of the autonomic nervous system and can produce some feeling aspects of emotion. Still other evidence suggests that cognitions, in particular, can also influence physiological states, such as those activated during fear. A strange noise in the house late at night triggers the fight-or-flight system, but the emotion immediately dissipates when the cat is identified as the cause.
    A useful way to examine emotions is to consider primary versus secondary emotions. Fear is a primary emotion. It is an evolved and adaptive physiological response that occurs automatically in response to particular sensory stimulations such as loud sounds. The fear response produces a cascade of bodily reactions that help individuals deal with immediate threats. The amygdala is intimately involved in this process. Conscious awareness of the emotion either occurs parallel to the physiological response or follows it. Secondary emotions are more complex and generally begin in higher levels of the brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in planning and organizing behaviors. Secondary emotions, such as anxiety and shame, are acquired through learned experience and involve complex cognitions. However, they also activate the amygdala and the physiological mechanisms of emotion.
    Consider Anxiety anxiety, a secondary emotion related to fear. Anxiety is more about an expectation of threat than about immediate danger. It arises primarily from learned experiences and cognitive evaluations of a situation. For example, someone who drinks too much at a wedding and has a bad experience may develop anxiety when invited to another wedding. The anxiety is based on a cognitive expectation of what could go wrong. The anxiety activates some autonomic and hormonal elements of the fear response, although to a lesser degree than an actual threatening stimulus. If this mild anxiety helps the person avoid further bad experiences at weddings, perhaps by not drinking, then the anxiety has been adaptive and will eventually disappear. Unfortunately, while genuinely fearful situations usually arise and then terminate quickly, learned anxieties can become chronic and produce long-term activation of the fight-or-flight response. This results in the physically damaging effects of long-term stress. As an example, long-term activation of the amygdala’s central nucleus can produce gastric ulcers in animals and probably has similar effects in humans. As negative physical effects are occurring, anxious people also experience negative moods, agitated thoughts, and a sense of losing control. Although they may not have immediate urges to physically hide or flee, they try to escape mentally by avoiding the anxiety-provoking situation or by distracting themselves from the negative thoughts. Thus, the normally adaptive mechanisms of the fear response become tied to maladaptive anxiety, which may develop into anxiety disorders such as phobia or panic disorder.

  • Links Verbal Abuse And Anxiety That No One Talks About


    Anxiety and long-term mental abuse are closely related. When someone goes through a lot of stress and trauma, over time, they develop a mental disorder, and anxiety is the most common (1)
    There is disgrace concerning verbal abuse, so there are a lot of people that see it as something that is okay to do.
    However, you need to know that yelling, insulting, and disrespecting someone may lead to harm to that individual who is being affected. In fact, verbal abuse is as harmful as physical abuse.
    The Worst Form of Abuse is Verbal
    When we are talking about verbal abuse, we are talking about both real-life and cyberbullying. Any form is damaging, and science says that it has an impact on both hemispheres of the brain.
    When a person is verbally abused since they were a child that results in a lot of problems.
    Verbal Abuse is the Same as Mental Abuse
    Since someone is abused their emotional state verbally is being affected, harming their self-esteem, both mental and verbal abuse is the same thing. Sadly, these traumas have a negative impact on person’s overall mental health, and this thing no one wants to experience.
    If you have experienced, you know that it can totally influence your life, and it can interfere with your relationships as well as work. Below we offer you some symptoms you should know, and if you notice that someone is experiencing them, you should help them.
    1. Short-Term Symptoms
    Low self-confidence, and lack of enthusiasm
    Unable to make decisions
    2. Long-Term Symptoms
    Chronic pain
    Eating disorders
    Digestive problems
    How to Notice Verbal Abuse
    1. Where No One Can See
    Many people are being abused where people cannot see. This can happen at home, at school, or even at work. Thinking that no one can know, people choose these places to abuse other people. And this may lead to serious trauma and harm to a person’s health.
    2. Unappreciation
    People who abuse other people tend never to appreciate what others are doing. Abusers never think that whatever someone does is good enough. And, when a person is abused this way, they feel the emptiness and feel like they do not have a purpose.
    3. Name Calling
    Abusers tend to use name calling in order to manipulate with other people and give them orders. As others abuses, this is also a harmful one.
    4. Mood Killer
    When someone feels good, abusers feel like they are losing the control. So, they choose that moment in order to make that happy person feel bad again. They feed off of the unhappiness of others.
    If you have a person like this in your life, you need to be careful and never let them achieve their aim.
    5. Attack Someone’s Interests
    People who abuse usually attack someone’s interests, hobbies, and other things they like. When someone experiences this kind of attack, they begin thinking they are not good enough, they feel worthless and may end up lying about such things.
    6. Abusers Are Always Right
    Unfortunately, abusers tend never to apologize or admit they have done something bad. They think of them as the best of everyone, and they are the ones that are always right.
    If you know someone who you cannot talk with because they do not want to discuss things that person may be an abuser.
    7. Isolation
    People who are being abused usually avoid social situations in order to keep themselves safe from abuse. If they are around people, they feel uncomfortable and feel anxious. The root of this problem comes from low self-confidence.
    You need to talk to this person and ask them how they are feeling. Also, remember that you would make a big difference if you notice someone with this issue, and talk to them. You may help them a lot.
    8. Blame
    People who abuse, usually blame others for everything. So, the abused individual begins to think they are worthless and not good. This can seriously damage their health.
    9. Jokes
    Although making jokes at someone’s expense seems fun, it needs to be done with permission as well as consent. Otherwise, it may end up in hurting the other person, and they may feel worthless as well as frustrated.
    We hope that after reading this article you will become more aware of verbal abuse, and you will be more careful and start noticing things around.
    Make sure to pay attention to your beloved one’s behavior because if you notice something strange in their behavior, you may help them before the things go worse.

  • Becoming Emotionally Free


    Bombarding your mind continually are your thoughts, some thoughts make you happy, others can make you emotionally sick. Stop this happening by an easy to use method that never fails to help you clear away unwanted thoughts and so unwanted feelings.

    Know that you are in charge of your life – you are in charge of your thoughts – you are in charge of your health – you are in charge of your happiness. There is nothing anyone can do or say to you to hurt you when you become emotionally free. Most people are like a sponge soaking up all the hurts, disappointments, regrets; ending up in resentment, anger, not to mention depression.

    Make time in your life to clear your head of all the negative thoughts that are going on day in day out. You know the importance of keeping things clean – from your body to your home. If you do not clean up, you end up in filth, and that can be deadly. The same goes for your mind. a negative mind can be deadly too.
    Start by being aware of the reactions you have to people, to situations that are in your life daily.
    Ask yourself, “Am I happy with this person, with this situation. ” Know that if you’re not then the person or situation is pressing your emotional buttons and in turn lowering your energy, and eventually causing illnesses.

    Make time for you! Take responsibility, stop condemning the other person or situation just for five minutes.
    Get yourself a large notebook and a pen. Sit down in a place where you are not going to be disturbed.
    Think about what it is that is annoying you – hurting you – angering you.
    Head your paper with the following. I am angry because – I am hurt because – I am disappointed because – I am sad because – you may think of other headings.
    Take one of the above and brainstorm – keep writing until you cannot think of anything else to write. I am hurt because Mary said I looked a mess. I am hurt because I think Mary thinks I look old. I am hurt because she is so unkind to me. I am hurt because she doesn’t criticize other people – only me. I am hurt because she picks on me all the time. So on…….. until nothing else comes to mind.

    Choose another sentence and brainstorm again. I am angry Mary dares to criticize me. I am angry that she has the audacity to treat me this way. I am angry that she treats me as if I am totally incapable – and so on.
    Cover every sentence until you cannot think of anything else to say. You may find you sigh during the process – that’s a good inclination that you are getting it all out of your mind.
    Notice after you have done this exercise how all the thoughts have gone, leaving your mind clear and you more feel emotionally free. If the thoughts haven’t all gone then know there is still more work to do.
    Spend time each day cleaning out your mind of all unwanted thoughts – even from your past. If you have some resentments that are still lingering know that they are lowering your energy and leading and/or will lead to some form of ill health.

  • Emotional Intelligence Quadrants


    There are four quadrants to Emotional Intelligence. Theses quadrants are composed of two primary competencies and two primary actions.

    Primary Competencies
    Personal competence – Determines how you manage yourself
    Social competence – Determines how you relate to others

    Primary Actions
    Recognizing – Identifying your own and others emotions, needs, concerns, and points of view

    Managing – Controlling or regulating internal impulse and inducing desirable responses in others

    Self-Awareness is the ability to know your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, interests, habits, values, hopes and dreams. If you are very self-aware, you understand your emotions, trust your intuition, and are able to manage your emotions.

    Self-Management is the ability to control your emotions and impulses. If you are able to self-manage, you can control impulsive feelings and behaviors and manage your emotions in healthy ways.

    Social Awareness is the ability to identify with and understand the emotions, needs, concerns, and perspectives of other people. It is how well you reads the emotions and feelings of other people.

    Relationship Management is the ability that enables you to communicate well with other people and manage relationships so that they progress in the desired direction. It is how you manage your interactions with other people.

    People with high EI are able to recognize their own emotional state and the emotional states of others. They are able to communicate effectively, empathize with others, reduce personal stress, overcome challenges, and resolve conflict.

    Development Series
    Developing a strong emotional intelligence helps you recognize and manage your emotions, communicate effectively, build stronger relationships, resolve conflict, and achieve your personal goals.

    Our Development Series provides;
    Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence
    Strategies and skills to improve Your Emotional Intelligence
    Techniques to observe how you react to people
    Self-evaluation to increase self-awareness
    Assessments to examine how your actions affect others
    Techniques and strategies to recognize and manage your emotions
    Tools to resolve conflicts positively

  • 6 ways to channel your inner underdog


    It’s frustrating when others don’t give you the respect you deserve. You feel like you have to prove yourself over and over again. Underdogs have a mindset that anyone who wants to advance in their career needs to have. Here are six ways you can develop the underdog mindset to overcome obstacles and succeed:

    1. Have a vision.

    When you are not given the respect you deserve, it can be difficult to believe in your self-worth. To center yourself, focus on something that you aspire to. It could be a person or a career milestone. Focus on your goal. When you are an underdog, people think you can’t attain your vision. Prove them wrong. Don’t let others throw you off course. Find that beacon, and keep aiming for it. See the opportunity.

    2. Fail early, and take risks.

    Mistakes are part of the learning process. Mistakes make you better, so don’t be afraid to make some. Because society values flawless execution, you need to learn from mistakes. Take advantage of opportunities to fail early on so you increase your chances of performing well later. If you make mistakes later on, persevere. Be determined to overcome the mistakes. Don’t let the nonbelievers win.

    Have the courage to take risks. You are already seen as the long shot, so you have room to take long shots. Sometimes, success requires you to aim for possibility, not probability. Put your best foot forward, and throw your hat in the ring for a project or an award.

    3. Be aware of the world around you.

    If you focus too much on yourself, you will lose perspective. You will lose awareness of what is going on around you. Keep your head up. Know what others around you are doing. Learn to adjust and position yourself.

    4. Outwork everyone else.

    You have some control over your destiny. Take advantage of what you have control over, and prepare. Nothing beats preparation. You will never be disappointed that you were well prepared.

    5. Don’t let adversity trip you up.

    There is only so much control you have over outcomes. When you are thrown a curve ball, do not get flustered. Know that anything can happen. Remember that change is the only constant. If plan A is no longer an option, pursue plan B. If plan B is no longer viable, move to plan C. You have control over how you respond to change. Be determined, persistent and resilient.

    6. Stay humble.

    No one likes a showboat. Always remain grateful and appreciative for where you are in your career and the opportunities you have received. You will never know everything, so don’t think you ever will. Seek to know more and learn more. Don’t take things for granted. People support underdogs when they believe support will help underdogs reach their goals.

    Underdogs are underestimated. Take advantage of this. You know your worth, but others need a wakeup call about your abilities. Be a leader in your own life, and show them what you are made of.

  • Emotional intelligence: What it is and why you need it


    When emotional intelligence first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into what many people had always assumed was the sole source of success—IQ. Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack.

    Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions that achieve positive results. Emotional intelligence is made up of four core skills that pair up under two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence.

    Personal competence comprises your self-awareness and self-management skills, which focus more on you individually than on your interactions with other people. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies.

    – Self-Awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.

    – Self-Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior.

    Social competence is made up of your social awareness and relationship management skills; social competence is your ability to understand other people’s moods, behavior, and motives in order to respond effectively and improve the quality of your relationships.

    – Social Awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on.

    – Relationship Management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the others’ emotions to manage interactions successfully.

    Emotional Intelligence, IQ, and Personality Are Different

    Emotional intelligence taps into a fundamental element of human behavior that is distinct from your intellect. There is no known connection between IQ and emotional intelligence; you simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is. Intelligence is your ability to learn, and it’s the same at age 15 as it is at age 50. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, is a flexible set of skills that can be acquired and improved with practice. Although some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent than others, you can develop high emotional intelligence even if you aren’t born with it.

    Personality is the final piece of the puzzle. It’s the stable “style” that defines each of us. Personality is the result of hard-wired preferences, such as the inclination toward introversion or extroversion. However, like IQ, personality can’t be used to predict emotional intelligence. Also like IQ, personality is stable over a lifetime and doesn’t change. IQ, emotional intelligence, and personality each cover unique ground and help to explain what makes a person tick.

    Emotional Intelligence Predicts Performance

    How much of an impact does emotional intelligence have on your professional success? The short answer is: a lot! It’s a powerful way to focus your energy in one direction with a tremendous result.

    TalentSmart tested emotional intelligence alongside 33 other important workplace skills, and found that emotional intelligence is the strongest predictor of performance, explaining a full 58% of success in all types of jobs.

    Your emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills—it impacts most everything you do and say each day.

    Of all the people we’ve studied at work, we’ve found that 90% of top performers are also high in emotional intelligence. On the flip side, just 20% of bottom performers are high in emotional intelligence. You can be a top performer without emotional intelligence, but the chances are slim.

    Naturally, people with a high degree of emotional intelligence make more money—an average of $29,000 more per year than people with a low degree of emotional intelligence. The link between emotional intelligence and earnings is so direct that every point increase in emotional intelligence adds $1,300 to an annual salary. These findings hold true for people in all industries, at all levels, in every region of the world. We haven’t yet been able to find a job in which performance and pay aren’t tied closely to emotional intelligence.

    You Can Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

    The communication between your emotional and rational “brains” is the physical source of emotional intelligence. The pathway for emotional intelligence starts in the brain, at the spinal cord. Your primary senses enter here and must travel to the front of your brain before you can think rationally about your experience. However, first they travel through the limbic system, the place where emotions are generated. So, we have an emotional reaction to events before our rational mind is able to engage. Emotional intelligence requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain.

  • How to Control Your Mind


    The mind consists of many different parts that can each exert influence on your behavior. “You” may want to change how influential a part of your mind is. For example, the part of your mind that cares about getting enough calories and nutrients may urge you to eat rich fatty foods, but another part of you recognizes that in the long run, excessive over eating will ruin your health and your physical image. To control your mind, exerting self-control over behaviors you want to change is key. There are a number of tricks you can employ to change your mind and ultimately your behavior.

    Method One of Two:

    Thinking Differently

    Avoid rumination. You may find yourself thinking about something negative, even when you really don’t want to. There are a number of tricks you can use to control your mind and stop ruminating:

    Think about the worst-case scenario. Although this seems counter-intuitive and like it would just lead to even more ruminating, when you think about the worst-case scenario, and then think about whether you would be able to handle it; you’ll likely find that you can imagine yourself handling the situation and this can help decrease your worry.

    Schedule time for yourself to worry. By setting aside time to think about your problem, you can rest assured that it will get the attention it (maybe) needs; this can help you stop thinking excessively about your problem when you don’t want to.

    Go for a walk. Getting out and about can get your mind off of your worries, either simply because of the exercise itself or because you will be taking in new information (sights, sounds, smells) which can help your mind wander to other, less distressing things.

    Believe in yourself and that you can change. If you don’t believe that you can change you’re not going to try nearly as hard as if you believe success is possible. So, make sure that you’re using positive thinking to face your problem. Try to keep in mind that you can change the way you think, that you can improve.

    Studies show that individuals adopting this “growth” mindset are more likely to make desired improvements than those who view their traits and skills as fixed and unchangeable.

    Be optimistic about your abilities. You might think that being accurate about your ability to control yourself is key. However, studies show that being overly optimistic about your ability to control your behavior can help give you even more self-control.

    To be optimistic, try telling yourself that you will succeed and control your mind over and over again, even if in the moment you don’t believe so.

    Try also to remind yourself of times where you successfully controlled your mind as intended. Reflect only on these successes and not on any self-control failures you might have had.

    Re-appraise what you are struggling to control. Try changing how you look at the thing you are struggling to control. For example, if a part of your mind really wants to have wine but you are trying to stop drinking, try imagining the wine as poison. Imagine it going all through your body, infecting your cells and organs. Studies show that having individuals mentally transform (re-appraise) desirable things into less desirable things facilitates their self-control efforts to avoid the desirable thing.

    To do this, really try vividly imagining and playing along with the idea that the object you wish to avoid has changed its properties.

    Stop overgeneralizing. Overgeneralizing means taking a single occurrence of a negative experience and projecting it onto other experiences or to your predictions about how the future will be. For example, someone who overgeneralizes might say, “I had a difficult childhood, so my life is going to be difficult forever.” To stop overgeneralizing, you might:

    Take it upon yourself to change your own future through hard work and persistence. For example, if you had a difficult childhood and think your life is going to be difficult forever, you might identify ways in which you want your life to improve, and work to improve them.

    Continuing the example, perhaps you want more meaningful relationships and a better job. You might research ways to obtain those things and then set goals for yourself in those domains to accomplish.

    Avoid personalization. This is a thought trap where you take personal responsibility for things that are out of your control. For example, if your daughter fell down at school you might say “It is my fault that she fell” when in reality the situation was entirely out of your control.

    To avoid personalization, try to think carefully and logically about events that you are personalizing. It can help to ask yourself some questions.

    For example, you might ask yourself “What could I actually have done to stop my daughter from falling down, given that I wasn’t at school with her?”

    Stop jumping to conclusions. This is a thought trap that involves thinking certain things without any evidence to back those thoughts up. For example, someone who jumps to conclusions might think that a person doesn’t like him without any evidence supporting that assertion.

    To stop jumping to conclusions, you can pause and think more before reaching judgments. It can help to ask yourself questions about the thought. For example, you can ask yourself if you really know that the thought you are having is true. You can also ask yourself to identify specific pieces of evidence that would suggest that the thought is true. Using the prior example, someone who thinks a person doesn’t like him might ask himself to identify particular conversations with that person that provide evidence for the claim.

    Avoid catastrophizing. This is a negative thought trap wherein the person blows things out of proportion. For example, someone who is catastrophizing after failing a test might say “My life is ruined, I’ll never get a good job now.”

    To stop catastrophizing, work on thinking more positively. You can also ask yourself questions that employ logic and reason. For example, someone who failed a test and thinks his life is ruined because he will never get a good job might ask himself: “Do I know anyone who has failed a test yet still gotten a good job and/or seems happy?” “If I was hiring someone would I make my entire decision based on that person’s grade in a single class?”

    Method Two of Two:

    Forming Good Habits

    Create a plan for your life. If you have a clear path for what you want in life, you may be less likely to be swayed by temptations that will hurt you in the long run. Write down the major things you want out of life: Is it a good career? Having a family of your own one day? Becoming financially wealthy?

    You don’t have to lay out very detailed steps for achieving these goals as part of this exercise; instead, remember to keep your overarching goals in mind so you stay on track in your life.

    To form personal goals, it is important not to set the bar too high or else you will fail and this can kill your motivation.

    Instead, set some big goals (e.g., learn how to code software), but break those bigger more distal goals into smaller more achievable goals (e.g., read 1 chapter of a software coding book every week). In this way you can see tangible amounts of progress as you work toward accomplishing your more distal goals.

    Smile, even if you don’t feel like it. Negative feelings can reduce self-control and make it more difficult for you to control your mind. One way to counteract negative feelings is, simply, to smile.

    Although the idea that feeling happy causes you to smile is more intuitive, the facial feedback hypothesis suggests that smiling can actually cause you to feel happiness.

    Spend time or money on others. Research shows that spending on others can increase happiness and well-being. Happiness and well-being can increase your self-image and reduce negative feelings that make self-control more difficult.

    Exactly how you spend your time or money on others isn’t that important. What matters is that you and those you are helping find it valuable.

    Create obstacles for yourself. One way to control your mind is to make it more difficult for it to get what it wants. This extra effort will make it so that part of your mind is less likely to win out and influence your behavior. For example, if you want to control the part of your mind that wants to watch TV when a part of you wants to cut down on your TV watching time, you could put your remote control in a difficult to reach spot.

    Another example is that if you keep hitting the snooze button in the morning, you could place your alarm clock far from your bed, so that you are forced to get out of bed to turn it off.

    A further example is if you are having trouble refraining from sex, and you want to change this behavior, you could avoid putting yourself in situations that lead to sex: you could stay away from bars, nightclubs, and you could delete the phone numbers of people you sometimes hook-up with.

    Reward your successful self-control efforts. When you successfully control your mind, reward yourself so that you are more likely to continue to do so in the future. For example, say you really didn’t feel like exercising but you forced yourself to do it anyways, reward yourself with a piece of chocolate or with an episode of your favorite TV show.

    Be careful not to make the reward too excessive or you may find yourself out of control and back to square one where you started. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and you controlled your mind and exercised when you didn’t feel like it, don’t eat several chocolates or you will just lose the progress that you made.

    Punish unsuccessful self-control efforts. Just like rewarding successes can aid in future self-control, punishing yourself for self-control failures can aid in future self-control as well. In fact, studies show that the threat of punishments can lead people to exert more self-control.

    To ensure the punishment’s effectiveness, place it in the hands of a family member, friend, or partner and tell them to dish it out if you fail to exert the self-control you desired. For example, they could hide your dessert and, at the end of the day if you failed to achieve your self-control goals, they could withhold that dessert from you.

    Reduce stress. The mind and body are deeply connected; the mind can make the body stressed, and physiological stress in the body can lead the mind to feel stressed.  When people are stressed they exert self-control to deal with those stressors and often have reduced self-control afterwards.  As such, it is important to reduce stress to conserve self-control energy. There are a number of ways to reduce stress with evidence showing they work to some degree

    Try relaxation techniques such as deep abdominal breathing, which involves breathing in deeply and holding your breath for a few seconds then slowly exhaling over the course of several seconds. You may also try focusing your mind on a single soothing word (such as calm or peace).

    Get some exercise, which will help you to breathe deeply and relax your tense muscles.

    Talk to friends and family, since social support can act as a buffer against stress.

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